Viewing entries in
Things to Do in Raleigh

It's that Date Night time again!

I place a lot of emphasis on date night when I'm counseling couples. Date night keeps the relationship growing and develops increased connection and intimacy. If we aren't intentional in our in our marriages, then the foundation of our relationship can slowly but surely erode. We have to be intentional: intentional about loving our spouse actively, intentional about continuing to invest in and get to know our spouse (yes, even after being married for 10+ years), intentional about sharing new experiences together. These are key ingredients to a solid marriage and they don't just happen automatically. They happen when couples intentionally set aside time and put effort into loving each other in these ways. One of our favorite Raleigh date nights includes David's Dumpling and Noodle Bar and Cup A Joe. I absolutely love David's, great food and a great atmosphere! My husband loves the quirky atmosphere at Cup A Joe and raves about their hot chocolate! I encourage couples to try new things and to go new places. But there's also nothing wrong with having a few favorites! Tradition and rituals are also important to a marriage. They add to the marital foundation as well. This date night is one of our traditions. What are yours?

A (Cheap) Raleigh Date Night Idea

It's a great time of year, great to be outside and enjoying this Fall weather! This time of year, I'm a huge fan of outdoor dates. I encourage the couples and families I see for counseling to get outside, enjoy the weather and each other! This Friday is First Friday and there are lots of great things to see and do in Downtown Raleigh. (The website linked to "Downtown Raleigh" has a great calendar of events and you can find out what is going on downtown on any given day!) First Friday doesn't have to cost you a thing either; you can wander around the galleries for free! You could start your date in Cameron Village at one of the many delicious restaurants this great area has to offer. If you like, wander around the shops or grab something sweet. Then mosey on further downtown and start seeing what the galleries have to showcase this month. You can ride the free R-Line around town so you don't have to worry about parking more than once! Also if you are unfamiliar with Downtown Raleigh, the R-Line is a great, free way to see the city! :) This kind of date is a great way to see new things, spark new conversation and have a great experience together. Dates like that help to deepen your relationship and break the monotony of dinner and a movie or a night at home. Walk and talk together; discuss what you think about the art you see! Aim to really know what your significant other or your family member thinks about what you are experiencing together. Get to know each other deeper. Have a fun fall Friday date Raleigh! 

Raleigh Art in the Park

There are so many great things to do in the Raleigh area! As you can tell, I really like sharing the fun things I find to do in Raleigh with you. I think utilizing all your community has is one great way to stay grounded and healthy! As a counselor I'm always discussing with my clients the benefits of being connected in your community and accessing what your community has to offer. I also encourage the clients I see in counseling who are experiencing depression or stress to get outside and exercise. The fresh air and movement really help to decrease depression and stress. The NC Museum of Art has a great outdoor exhibit that you can visit. You can stroll through the museum's "Art in the Park" leisurely alone or with a friend. You can also kick it up a notch and exercise while you take in the art if you'd like! I have done both and loved the experiences. The art provides some great conversation starters with friends or significant others. My niece and nephew really enjoyed the exhibits too, so this can be a great family outing as well! I have seen families bring bikes, picnics and balls to play and enjoy the park and the art! This fall take some time to get outside and enjoy what your Raleigh community has to offer!

Fun Family Outing

There are so many great things to do in the Raleigh area for families. Something fun I have done with my family is to boat around on Lake Johnson. Lake Johnson is a fun area to romp around, explore, walk or boat! You can feed ducks or get chased by geese! Doing something fun and different is a great way to invest in your family, show your kids you care and want to invest in them, and just all out have fun together. Whether I'm working with teenagers and their families in family counseling or working with couples and talking about the importance of family, family outings get brought up. Family outings really help to build connection and deepen relationship. Memories are created and a strong family foundation is fostered. There is great benefit to initiating something fun for your family to do. Before the weather gets cold, I encourage you to get outside and do something fun as a family.

More Raleigh Date Night Ideas

Trying new places to eat can be fun and exciting and help keep the relationship fresh and growing! And it's a great part of a fun date night. We all have a tendency to get stuck in a rut and go to the same places time after time. Now I'm a big fan of having a few favorite places to go back to, but I have seen the benefit in clients I work with in couples counseling or marriage counseling in trying new things. My husband has pushed me to try new foods and that has definitely opened up good conversation and a few new food likes for this picky eater! A new place that just recently opened in downtown Raleigh is Beasley's Chicken and Honey. This place has a fantastic set up! While I haven't yet sampled the food, I have talked to many who have and tell me it is great! I sat beside two guys who had just devoured some chicken and told me it was delicious! I must say, I was wishing I had a piece of that chicken to taste, but we'd arrived too late and the kitchen had closed. They have great looking sides and the dessert menu looked scrumptious! Date night can be a time to push yourselves out of your comfort zones - taste buds and emotions can be challenged! While fried chicken isn't new to many of us southerners, still, a new restaurant is fun to try. And while you're there, push yourselves to talk about more than just the usual "how was your day" or business-of-life items (work, kids, finances, honey-do lists, etc). Talk about your relationship - the good stuff and the difficult. Reminisce on fun memories the two of you share. Discuss things you'd like to learn about - new hobbies or interests. Dream about your future together - places you want to see, things you'd like to accomplish together. Date nights like these can really help strengthen your relationship and build a strong foundation in your marriage. As I've mentioned before in another blog post, you can always come to the date prepared with fun questions or conversation topics to talk about; there doesn't have to be pressure to come up with things to talk about on the spot! There are great question books out there to help break up the monotony of conversation and get you connecting at a deeper level! That will help if coming up with ideas to talk about or questions to ask gives you a knot in your stomach! So Raleigh, try new restaurants and deepen your relationship all at the same time! Yumm! I know I'm excited about a Beasley's date night!

Benefits of Getting Alone

There is relevance in being alone; solitude is important. It's beneficial to be able to be by yourself and be OK. If you are not able to be alone for at least small periods of time and be OK, something is going on. Being alone helps us to know ourselves and grow in comfort with ourselves. Solitude can increase self awareness through reflection on how we are doing, what we like, how we feel, etc. I encourage my clients in counseling to set aside time regularly to be alone. Perhaps it's going to a coffee shop, like Cafe Helios downtown, and journaling. Maybe it's taking a scenic drive or going for a hike (safely) at Umstead State Park. Consider it investing in yourself. Ultimately this helps all aspects of your life: work-life balance, relationships, friendships, even self-esteem. The more we know ourselves, the more we can invest in ourselves, the healthier we can become. In a world full of distractions, it is important to be able to get alone and rest, reflect and sift through all the noise. This way we can determine who we are, what we like, what we need and what is healthy and true. 

Serve your Community & Boost your Mood

A great way to kick depression, increase self esteem and get involved in your community is through serving. Volunteering in your community can significantly impact your mood for the better and increase self esteem. Getting outside ourselves helps us to realize things for which we can be thankful; it helps us to know we can make a difference. The surprising twist of volunteering is that typically we end up feeling joy in return for helping others! It feels good to get outside ourselves and help. When all we do is stare at our own circumstances, we can feel hopeless. But when we take time to serve others, we see a bigger perspective; life isn't solely about what is in front of our faces. There are great organizations in the Raleigh area that need volunteers. The Raleigh Rescue Mission and the Shepherd's Table Soup Kitchen are just two of these local organizations where you can serve and volunteer. These are great places to serve on your own, with your family or grab a bunch of friends and volunteer! I encourage clients that I see in counseling to get outside themselves every now and then and volunteer! Depression keeps us focused inward on our pain, discouragement and current circumstances. Volunteering helps us to see that life isn't just about what we are experiencing currently; there are others in our community who are also having a difficult time, struggling to make ends meet and needing help. When we can reach out and help others, we feel more connected to our community and also a sense of empowerment that we can make a difference! I encourage you to look for opportunities to serve in your area. If you live in the Raleigh area, consider contacting one of these agencies to volunteer!

Fun Raleigh Outing / Date Night

Here's a fun outing whether you are looking for a new date night idea or just looking for something fun and different to do in Raleigh with friends! Groupon offers great coupons for local activities and restaurants. Recently I bought the Chubby's Tacos groupon so we could head out for some great tacos and get them at half price! Yumm, I love that place! A great outing or Raleigh date night idea is to head to a local restaurant with your groupon in hand or just head over to Chubby's Tacos if you haven't tried them yet! Enjoy a leisurely dinner and some fun conversation. If conversation doesn't come easy or you are tired of the same old topics, try spicing it up with some get to know you questions like these! It's fun to learn new things about your friend or significant other and I guarantee it'll lead to some laughs! Leave dinner and head to a local bookstore. Browse the travel section and plan a dream trip; look at pictures, maps, read about the culture...and then plan a trip that is realistic in the next year! Go to other sections of the store and try to find books you think your friend or significant other would like to read; show it to them and see how well you know them! You don't even have to buy any books, just enjoy spending time together in a new environment. If you're looking for a sweet treat after you've absorbed enough books, head to LocoPops near NC State! These are great frozen pops and you are supporting a local Raleigh business! You can wander around Hillsborough Street with your pop in hand and enjoy the rest of your evening. Date nights or nights out with friends don't have to be expensive, just doing something out of the norm will help deepen the relationship or friendship!! I encourage clients I'm seeing in counseling to be intentional with their friendships and relationships. This not only helps the relationship to improve but often has a positive impact on mood as well.

Another Raleigh Date Night Idea

We all know the classic date night: dinner and a movie. Here's a fun extended version of that classic idea if you are looking to make a full night of it enjoying downtown Raleigh. A great Raleigh theater is the Rialto. Nestled in downtown Raleigh, it offers a quaint location and great shows! Head downtown early in the evening and park in the 5 Points area. I love this area of town and could spend hours just wandering around the streets looking at houses and enjoying the great food!  While it's still light out, wander around the gorgeous historic homes off Glenwood Avenue. Head to Lilly's Pizza for a quality pie and then hit up the show at the Rialto. If you are looking for a tasty treat before the show, try Fresh at Five Points. My husband and I recently tried this sweet little ice cream and frozen yogurt shop and loved it! After the show head over to Third Place Coffee House and debrief about the movie; make time to intentionally talk together about not only the movie but also your relationship. What did you like about the movie? What did you dislike? What part was happiest, saddest, funniest, etc? What did it make you think about as it relates to your life? Any way the movie applies to your relationship? Then spend some time talking about your relationship specifically. How have you been feeling about the relationship lately? Share anything you could personally work to improve upon in the relationship. What is one way your significant other really made you feel special over the past week? What is one way your relationship has grown/improved over the past month/week? I encourage couples that I am seeing in marriage counseling or couples counseling to spend time doing these intentional talk times each week. Date night can really infuse love and positive energy into stagnant relationships. And for relationships that are going well, it helps keep things moving forward in an intimate and healthy direction!

2011 Best of the Triangle

Thanks so very much to all who voted for me to be Best Therapist in the Triangle! I appreciate your votes! It's such an honor and I'm really excited! These are the winners of the Best of the Triangle for 2011 as voted by The Independent's readers. The readers of The Independent voted for the best of 2011 in music, food, arts, and services in Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill and areas in between! Check them out and try something new! Our area has so much to offer.

Taking advantage of Raleigh

I try to blog frequently about things to do in Raleigh for many reasons. 1.Raleigh is a great place to live and there is so much to do, see and experience here. 2.People often complain that there's nothing to do in the place they live; I like to ensure people living in or around Raleigh cannot complain about that because there is so much to do here! 3.It's really important to be involved in our communities, to know what is going on and how to be able to access that. What we see and experience has the opportunity to impact us, to help us to grow, to see new things and mature as people. It also helps our relationships and friendships to grow when we experience fun things or new things together; we get to learn and grow together. Taking advantage of your community and what it has to offer is just one way to do this. Each week The Independent Weekly newspaper is printed and you can find it all around the Triangle area. It's a local newspaper that offers information about Triangle area food, music, film, art and entertainment. You can learn a lot about what is going on in Raleigh, Durham and Chapel Hill (as well as other little areas in the Triangle too). Each year they do a survey and readers get the chance to vote on various categories: Wine & Dine, Music & Clubs, Out & About, Goods, Services, and Media. Then they release a big "Best of" list that has the winners and finalists. The June 8 edition will have the Best of 2011. I encourage you to pick one up and see who won Best of 2011 in the Triangle. My husband and I use the best of list to plan our date nights; that way we don't end up at the same place each date and we can add a little variety into our dates. It helps us to try new things, learn new things about ourselves and each other and experience new things together which helps our relationship to grow. I hope you'll pick up the Independent's June 8 Best of the Triangle edition and start taking advantage of all the great things to see and do (and eat) in Raleigh! If you miss the printed version, they typically post it online. Here are the Best of 2010 winners! Start taking advantage of all Raleigh and the Triangle has to offer!

Raleigh Outdoor Movies & Music

Looking for something new to do for a night out to get you out of your same old routine? Movies in the Museum Park at the NC Museum of Art are a great idea for a night out! There are summer Concerts in the Museum Park as well! Whether you are looking for something fun to do with friends, your family or your significant other, finding something new (and fun) to do is not hard in the Raleigh area if you're willing to look around. A great way to beat the blues of depression is to plug into and take advantage of what your community has to offer. Don't get stuck doing the same thing day after day and don't fall prey to the negative self talk that says to "stay at home". The Raleigh area has so much to offer. Grab a friend or significant other and try heading out to one of these upcoming movies or concerts. Or be bold and brave it alone; challenge yourself to be confident as you are - you don't have to take anyone with you, just go! Yes it may be hot and humid, but doesn't it sound fun to watch a movie or listen to music outside with lots of other Raleigh locals!?

Get outside Raleigh!

Depression and stress can leave you wanting to stay inside, crawl in a hole and isolate. You may not "feel" like you want to do anything, but you can choose to do different. And often by choosing the opposite of what you are feeling, you'll begin to feel better. Depression says to you, "stay inside, don't do anything fun, nothing will help, it's hopeless." Stress says, "there's too much, it's all too overwhelming, nothing will help." And thus discouragement sets in. I encourage my clients seeking counseling to get outside; get some good Vitamin D (but wear sunscreen)! :) Choose to be active. Don't let your feelings decide what you will or will not do. Do something new, something fun; get around people. Take some friends, a family member or your significant other and do something outside. This weekend in downtown Raleigh's Moore Square and City Plaza is a great event called Artsplosure. There is art, crafts, music and fun stuff for kids too! Try something new, tap into some creative energy seeing all the fun art and crafts. I hope you'll get outside this weekend Raleigh!

Raleigh Date Night Idea

Here's a local date night idea for couples or just a fun idea of something to do in the Raleigh area for anyone interested.

Movies by Moonlight at Koka Booth Amphiheatre in Cary; these aren't too expensive at all and who doesn't love the idea of sitting outside and watching a movie! Fun idea for a night out in the Raleigh area!

The Importance of Date Night

When working with couples in couples counseling or marriage therapy, I always stress the importance of a weekly date night! Think of all the focused time we put into other things- work, household chores, raising kids, etc. A weekly date night gives couples time to intentionally focus on their relationship and on each other. It provides time to reflect on your relationship, share new ideas or dreams, discuss upcoming changes, debrief about a recent fight, etc. Date night should be a time to interact together: face time, quality time. Sure going to a movie every now and then is fun and I fully support that too! But try date nights where you focus on each other and the relationship...where you get to talk to one another instead of stare at a screen. Staring at a screen together is fun, but it's shoulder time (doing something together but not interacting). Face time is actually looking at each other's faces and interacting, engaging with one another! Some fun (and cheap) ideas for a quality date night are a coffee shop, First Friday in Downtown Raleigh, and the North Carolina Museum of Art (it has a whole section you can visit for free!). The last 2 are free for the most part, so money doesn't have to be an excuse. Date nights don't have to break your budget! Work on setting aside time each week to spend getting to know your significant other more, improving and deepening your relationship. You'll certainly see the fruit of those efforts!