Benefits of Getting Alone

There is relevance in being alone; solitude is important. It's beneficial to be able to be by yourself and be OK. If you are not able to be alone for at least small periods of time and be OK, something is going on. Being alone helps us to know ourselves and grow in comfort with ourselves. Solitude can increase self awareness through reflection on how we are doing, what we like, how we feel, etc. I encourage my clients in counseling to set aside time regularly to be alone. Perhaps it's going to a coffee shop, like Cafe Helios downtown, and journaling. Maybe it's taking a scenic drive or going for a hike (safely) at Umstead State Park. Consider it investing in yourself. Ultimately this helps all aspects of your life: work-life balance, relationships, friendships, even self-esteem. The more we know ourselves, the more we can invest in ourselves, the healthier we can become. In a world full of distractions, it is important to be able to get alone and rest, reflect and sift through all the noise. This way we can determine who we are, what we like, what we need and what is healthy and true. 

The Self Esteem Struggle

Many female clients that I see struggle with low self esteem. In fact, many people in general (myself included) struggle with low self esteem at times. We often play the comparison game; a horrible game that we rarely win. We attempt to fight and often give into messages we hear from those around us, from society, or from the media (Internet, TV, Hollywood, magazines). These messages rarely tell us truth about ourselves, our hearts or our bodies. The messages we receive tell us to change ourselves, fix ourselves and improve ourselves but rarely is it towards health...it is often to push ourselves toward some unhealthy, irrational ideal. We are lied to by these messages yet often we change our habits and our lifestyles (and our budgets) to fit into what these messages tell us to become. How crazy is this?! I encourage clients I see in counseling to filter the messages they hear and determine how true they are, how rational they are, and if they are even near healthy. We discuss the foundation of their identity and who they are allowing to dictate changes in their lives. We discuss rational views of self and ways to challenge the irrational views we often hold for ourselves. We can improve the way we see ourselves and feel about ourselves if we will monitor the messages we listen to and ensure we are listening to messages of truth. Then we must fight to talk to ourselves in kind, truthful and positive ways that lead to healthy lives. We must determine if the sources we are allowing to dictate our identity and feelings about ourselves are valid. If you struggle with feeling low about yourself at time, counseling can be a great outlet to assess your basis of identity and to learn how to filter and challenge unhealthy and unhelpful messages you are hearing!