Chasing Happiness

I hear so much in daily life (TV, movies, commercials, magazines, blogs, radio, etc) about "being happy". "I just want him/her to be happy." "If I just had (insert object, relationship, career), then I'd be happy." Chasing happiness has become something so central to our American society. I hear it all the time in my counseling office from various clients; teens, couples, families, men, women...they all claim if they could just figure this or that out, have this or that, or get rid of this or that, then they'd be happy. "Really?", I want to say. Really do you think you'd truly be happy then? Do you really think that getting him/her/it will make you happy? Of course, I tend to say those things with a bit more therapeutic tact than that. But my message is the same: do you think that getting what you want will make you happy? If happiness is your goal, will you ever truly find it and be able to maintain that state of happiness? I think not. Getting that relationship, career, object, or getting rid of either of those will not make someone happy. The way I see it, the problem is in the goal. If the goal is happiness found in the hands of other people or things, it will never last. People will disappoint us, there will always be some new object out there we just have to have, jobs are lost and interests shift. When happiness is our driving motivator, we'll always get let down. We'll always be chasing one thing or another or one person or another. As a Christian, happiness is not my goal. My goal is to know and love the Lord, to know and love others. If anything else is my goal, I'll be unfulfilled. If being happy is my goal then I'll be let down constantly. As believers in Jesus, we weren't promised happiness nor were we told that happiness should be what we incessantly strive after. We were actually told the opposite...Jesus said, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33) Wewill have trouble, things won't go our way, we will be let down, disappointed, suffer, hurt, etc. Those disappointments, hurts, sufferings can lead us to intimacy with Jesus and closeness with others. And in those things, there is great joy. Joy is deeper and much more lasting than happiness. Happiness tends to be based on situations and is fleeting. Joy is something that cannot be taken away by loss or change in situation. If you find yourself chasing happiness and ending up sad and disappointed more often than not, I'd encourage you to reassess your goal. Chasing happiness doesn't lead down any lasting path. Counseling can help you do that if you desire!

2 Steps to Battling Depression

Depression can leave a person feeling weighed down, hopeless, worthless and unmotivated. When I'm counseling clients who are experiencing depression, we discuss setting not only a daily routine but setting also a few daily goals. Routine is so important to overcoming depression. A healthy sleep schedule, regular balanced meals, time for fun, social interaction and also a little productivity is a great daily routine when working to overcome depression. In my counseling work with clients experiencing depression, we also discuss goal setting. Depression can leave someone feeling worthless and hopeless. Setting and accomplishing goals - no matter how big or small - adds to self worth, confidence and positive motivation. I encourage the clients I counsel to set 3 small goals each day. Some clients prefer to set them the night before and others start with a planning session in the morning when they get up. Writing down a few manageable, achievable goals will help one begin to overcome depression. This, along with a daily routine - getting up and going to bed at around the same time every day, regular mealtimes, time for fun and social activity and time to accomplish goals - will help the depression begin to decrease. You can take small, easy steps to begin fighting your depression and counseling can be a great help to your battle if you wish!