Grief...a long process
Grief is a long process. It is not something to be dealt with in a few short months or solved in a mere 6 sessions of counseling. Even years after a significant loss, you may still find yourself at times moved with emotion or tears thinking about your lost loved one. I hear many clients in grief counseling ask questions like, "how long will I feel this sad?", "how long will I grieve?", or "should I still be feeling this upset?". Grief does not work on a time table. It looks different for every person and every loss. Loss and sadness will linger and perhaps for quite some time after a significant loss. Anger and confusion may linger as well. It is difficult to feel the emotions and the void for so long; we want the pain to go away, or at least to lessen. And over time it does, but we often want to rush that process and experience the lessening of pain now. Grief says not yet. The process of grieving and healing is important and it's also important to allow our grief to have it's own time frame. It is healthy to experience it each day as it is, validating the grieving emotions and going forward with the day. It's important to maintain a daily routine and not to wallow too long in the grieving emotions but it's also important to experience the pain and to express the grief. The less we rush ourselves through the process of grieving and the less we pressure ourselves to "get over" the loss, the more we will experience healing as we grieve. Settle in for the process. Know it will take time and fight the urge to define how long that time may take. Allow yourself to feel your grief each day, as many times a day as you need, and then shift back to what you were doing in your day. If you find that in your grief you feel stuck or unable to shift from grieving to your daily tasks, engaging in some grief counseling might be helpful for you.