Despite what you think, your significant other is not a mind reader. I admit that when I was in graduate school sitting in one of my Marriage and Family Therapy classes and heard my professor utter this statement, I was crushed! Then my professor had us take a test to see how strongly we believed our significant others or future spouses should be able to read our minds, to know what we wanted and needed without us telling them. Needless to say I scored off the chart; it impacted me so much I can remember where exactly I was sitting when I learned this truth! I fully believed that my future husband should be able to read my mind! I thought he should know what I wanted and desired and how to give that to me; it seemed easy enough for me. Oh how that belief has been changed after walking through my graduate program (thanks Dr. Coyle and Richmont Graduate University!) and after being married (thanks Ryan!). I was having a beautiful conversation with a friend the other night and this topic came up again. I'm beginning to think it's pretty common! Countless couples and I have this conversation during couples counseling sessions."He's not a mind reader" I say, he can't know what you need, want or desire unless you tell him- and really spell it out for him. Wives wonder how this can be love; how is it love when I have to tell them what to do, they say. It's love because he acts on what you have told him. He can't read your mind but he can follow through and love you with what you have shared with him. Tell him exactly how he can give you what you desire, need, want. I'm using him primarily because I see this mind-reading expectation mostly in women. But alas, I'm not ruling you men out - you may just as well do it too--if so replace all the "him's" with "her's". I have to remind myself of this truth quite often and have to remember to tell my husband specifically what I need and make sure he understands what I'm desiring. I walk with couples as they learn to ask each other specifically for what they want and need and then I have the privilege of watching them thrive when they receive that as love from each other. Try it out, ask your spouse for what you need, tell him how he can give this to you. Then choose to receive it as love when he does the very thing you've shared with him!